Why?
by gilmoreluv
Summary: Sometimes the hardest questions are answered in the easiest ways...


**_** Ok so in my opinion this story starts out good then i lost my mojo and it gets kinda floppy, but that's just me. I have an SVU story that is actually a chapter story but it is not ready so idk when I am going to post that. Reviews are welcome because I am new to SVU writing and I feel like I need to get better. Anyways hope you enjoy._**

**_** Disclaimer: No one in this story is mine just the plot.**_**

She didn't know or she couldn't grasp the concept on how she ended up here but she knew how it started. It didn't start with Jenna being shot…or Elliot leaving those were just the reasons. No it started with a call she received from Kathy.

Kathy had told her that Elliot was not Elliot anymore. As Olivia tried to explain to Kathy what happened while trying to keep her emotions in check she was interrupted by Kathy.

"Olivia I know this is work related and I know what you are going to tell me because Ive heard it a million times, but this is different. He isn't here anymore Olivia and I think you are the only one who can find him."

"Kathy what does that mean?"

"I think you know what that means Olivia"

Olivia was shocked. She couldn't believe what she was hearing after everything that he had gone through his wife was just leaving all she could do was ask

"why?"

"Because, you would know where to start searching"

She immediately went to Elliot's house to find him sitting on the couch staring at the wall. From his position she could tell that he had not moved for what seemed like ages. She sat by him and said nothing because with them there never was a need for words. Then after minutes of silence he turned to her and she saw what Kathy meant when she said that Elliot wasn't there anymore. His eyes were empty. They were dull and red and full of pain but lifeless. He must've seen the way she was looking at him because he turned away and said.

"Have you ever wondered why?"

"Why what?"

"I don't know why we feel? Why we live? Why we die? Just why?"

She had. Every day of her life she always asked why. The whole "everything happens for a reason" bit never was enough for her. She would just ask "what is the reason" and "why does learning it have to be so painful". She tended to always ask questions no one could answer.

"Everyday"

He sighed " I always ignored it. I tried not to question things because that would just take me to a place I didn't want to be in."

"Like now"

All he did was nod.

"Elliot "Why?" is a question that will never be answered its impossible. I can ask myself "why did my father have to be a rapist? Why did my mom have to resort to drinking? Why didn't she love me like I wanted her to? Why was I allowed to exist? Why have I been alone all of my life? When people tell me that my past made me the woman I am today it does not comfort me at all because the only reason I am here is because my father abused my mother so I was not wanted. So yeah you are right asking why will get you to a place that you don't want to be in but it can also get you out.

"How" he asked

"Why are you making your life this miserable?" why are you tormenting yourself? Nothing you do will bring Jenna back. Elliot you have a family. You have a reason to keep going, to live, to breathe. I have no one. You have no idea how hard it is to live through life knowing no one is wondering where you are or if you are safe or if you made it out alive from whatever it is you did at work that day. I shot someone too remember. I killed him. That did not stop me. I have never asked myself why it didn't because there is no answer. Elliot don't let this consume you because right now you are lost and its getting really hard to find you." She said with teary eyes

"Maybe I'm supposed to be lost. I don't think I can be found anymore. I'm done Liv"

She let the tears fall freely. "I don't want to lose you"

"You never did Liv" he said using his thumb to catch one of her tears

"I'm losing you right now" She could feel her heart give out on her.

"But I'm not losing you and as long as I have you there is hope for me to be found but until that day comes you are going to have to let go" He said now crying as well. He had lost everything she was the only thing left and if he stayed he knew she would get lost with him and he couldn't handle that.

"God Elliot don't you understand that I can't let go. You are my lifeline. I've always been lost. I've never been certain of who I am or why I am here but I am certain that I need you. You have to let me find you Elliot."

"Why?"

Finally she had an answer to that question.

" Because I love you" He looked up at her and she saw something different. The pain was still there but she saw something in his eyes that she had seen before but could never quite figure out what it was. Then he said

"I love you too" and her question had been answered.

**_**Didn't really like how I ended it but there you go. Seriously pointers and reviews would be great. Thanks for reading**_**


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